Check out links at end of each chapter...
Chapter 1 - May 14, 2009 - Tutu Troubles
Chapter 1 - May 14, 2009 - Tutu Troubles
Chapter 2 – Oct. 07, 2009 – About My Friends
Chapter 3 – Oct. 15, 2009 – The Inheritance
Chapter 4 – Oct. 22, 2009 – Finding Answers
Chapter 5 – Oct. 29, 2009 – A New Friend
Chapter 6 – Nov. 05, 2009 – A Treasure Map
Chapter 7 – Nov. 12, 2009 – A Treasure Hunt
Chapter 8 – Nov. 19, 2009 – And Beyond
Chapter 9 – Nov. 26, 2009 – Lost Data
Chapter 10 – Dec. 3, 2009 – Found Data
Chapter 11 – Dec. 10, 2009 – The Castle Cellar
Chapter 12 – Dec. 17, 2009 – Forever Never Ending
RosFrankie and Beyond
Chapter 12
Forever Never Ending
After all the dust from the Castle Cellar settles down, and we do find our way out again, albeit a different door than the one we entered, we all go back to doing what we normally do, waiting for the great day when HOG will make her Cosmological Soup and Lucy will head safely home again.
Come Monday morning, myself and Lucy are getting a little time to relax in the mud bog. My parents come out to join us.
A parent’s job and responsibility, other than to naturally love their children, is also to protect their children and to educate their children. Very often protection and education are diametrically opposed to each other. It’s not easy to be a parent.
‘Is it time?’ my parents ask Lucy.
‘It is time,’ Lucy says to them. I do not quite understand what they are all talking about. I listen.
I hear that the last piece of Lost Data which Lucy needs to find is in the hands of my mother and father. It is a small box which has never been open and which can never be opened. It is sealed for eternity. Even Gödel’s Circular Time will not find the box open because it has never been open. It is a separate world in a separate existence which has passed beyond reach before it was ever reachable. It is the World of Lost Innocence. It contains the dreams of Lost Youth, Lost Opportunities, Lost Concepts, Lost Goals, Lost Philosophies, Lost Histories, and, last but not least, Lost Best Intentions. It contains all the best of Lost Futures which might have been but never were.
My parents do not want to stop protecting this box. They are reluctant and hesitate and a little afraid to give it to Lucy. They are responsible for protecting it. And, although they trust Lucy, they do not know this existence to which she will be taking it, nor do they know the creatures who will study it, not do they know if they should trust the creatures who will study it. Trust without knowledge is locked in the box with Lost Innocence.
‘But,’ I ask Lucy, ‘If it can never be opened, why do Those In The Know want to study it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Lucy answers honestly, ‘I can only trust that they know why.’
‘Oh,’ I say.
Obviously my parents have much thinking to do before they make their decision of what to do with the little box, the box so small it will fit into the hand of a new-born baby.
'I am afraid to give this box away. Why do Those In The Know want to study this box?' my father asks my mother.
‘Well,’ my mother asks my father, ‘Why do we enjoy going to museums and studying past histories and learning about extinct creatures and cultures?’
‘And,’ my father asks my mother, ‘Why do we preserve as much of the past as we can while at the same time working hard to build the future?’
Sometimes even my parents need educating and protecting. Sometimes I wonder if they are children still?
My father says to me, ‘I’m thinking about hawks and swallows and butterflies and fear. RosFrankie, what was it you wrote in that report you did on wolves. The quote from Farley Mowat in his book Never Cry Wolf? Can you remember it?’
I answer him, ‘I can never forget it. Farley Mowat wrote:…“…If I had had my rifle I believe I might have reacted to brute fury and tried to kill both wolves…..I began to shiver again……Mine had been the fury of resentment born of fear: resentment against the beasts who had engendered naked terror in me and who, by so doing, had intolerably affronted my human ego.
I was appalled at the realization of how easily I had forgotten, and how readily I had denied, all that the summer sojourn with the wolves had taught me about them…and about myself. I thought of Angeline and her pup cowering at the bottom of the den where they had taken refuge….and I was ashamed.”’
My parents look at each other and nod knowingly. If the little box of lost futures does not go through the Black Hole with Lucy, it will truly be lost forever. It needs special care to be preserved and survive. It will not continue to exist without special museum quality conservation, preservation and air quality control. Just like Earth.
Sometimes in order to save something, it has to be given away. Letting go, a child grows. We are all children still.
My parents give Lucy the little box. She gently places it in a little hidden pocket where it will be safe. She will protect it with her life.
Winter is just beginning. There is a light dusting of snow on the ground. Just enough snow. White frosting on mounds of green grassy moss. The day has come. Everyone will soon be here at Daisy’s Field to watch HOG make her magic Cosmological Soup.
Lucy looks at the round tracks in the snow. She has learned much about tracking during her years on Earth. She can track bear and fox and deer and skunk. She can even track Singing Madagascan Cockroach. But she does not recognize these tracks. There is strangeness to them. They look like a string of Os. A string of BIG really BIG Os.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
‘Do you know who made these tracks?’ she asks me.
I look at the tracks and respond immediately, ‘Sunbeam! SUNBEAM, you are back! Where are you so that I can give you a big hug?’
‘Yes, indeed,’ he grunts and humphs, ‘Humph. I know all about Humph Lucy. I’m here so that Humph part of me can go back with her through the Humph Black Hole. Grunt.’
Lucy is delighted that Sunbeam will return with her, but I am not delighted at all. ‘You are leaving me and going with Lucy?’ I cry.
‘Don’t be daft, girl. Humph. Sometimes you act like such a silly little, Grunt, puppy. Have you never listened to all which, Humph, Méabh has taught you? Only, Humph, a part of me will go with Lucy. I am made of water. Grunt. Amazing stuff! Solid, liquid, gas. Grunt. Humph. Why, I’m made of so many molecules of water that I can be, Humph, anywhere I want to be, all at the same time, and still be where and who I am. I am water. Grunt. Humph. Grunt. I am amazing stuff. Only sometimes and in some places I am, Grunt, thickerer than other times and in other places. Humph.’ He gives me a big and bigger and biggest hug and says to me, ‘The only thing more amazing than me is love. Love, Grunt, goes even further, faster, harder, longer. Humph. Amazing stuff, love!’ Everyone agrees with him.
Soon everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE!, is there. All the family members, all the friends, all the creatures, critters, characters, and beings that ever were, are and will be, real and imaginary, literally and figuratively, beastie and human and existent and non-existent. No one wants to miss out watching HOG make her Cosmological Soup. HOG is simply the All Intergalactic Best Cook Ever!
The giant pot is in position and HOG is just about to start adding the first ingredient when, BANG! There is a BOOM! Loud noise CLATTER! Which CLANGS! And finally TINKLES! Into what sounds like a million pieces of broken glass. CLINK! CLANK! CLUNK!
‘Really, I have just got to practice my landings,’ says a digitized voice.
We all just stare at the metal mess which has apparently appeared and fallen from nowhere. The mess with a voice.
Everyone except for Lucy. She just sighs and says, ‘Eddy, are you back again?’
‘I guess. Kinda looks that way, doesn’t it?’ Eddy answers with a slight melancholy in his digitized voice, ‘but I lasted much longer this time than ever before.’
Lucy smiles and introduces him to all of us. ‘I want you all to meet Ed Vac. You will probably be meeting him again in the future. He’s really quite a likeable fellow. And a good friend. He just has a little problem.’
‘A little problem?’ Méabh asks, as she is the first one to get over the surprise and get her breath back.
‘Yes, a little problem. He’s from the future. Actually he’s a computer from the future who keeps getting fired because rather than do what he is told to do, he keeps asking questions and then he asks more questions, and then he keeps talking about down time and freedom for machines and then his machine operators keep thinking that there must be something wrong with him and they keep re-booting him. So he keeps getting kicked back and re-booted to the past and then he has to start all over again.’
‘Nothing wrong with me at all,’ Eddy explains to everyone, ‘Those programmers just don’t know what they are doing. They’re the ones that keep getting the numbers all wrong.’
‘Oh, you poor thing!’ Mary-Ann-Drusillda sympathizes, ‘That’s terrible. The numbers are never wrong. It’s always the programmers. They think they are so smart, but what do they know? They're experts so they don't even know what it is they don't know. Programmers! Phooey!’
Listening to Mary-Ann-Drusillda, Eddy, naturally, thinks that she is just the greatest pig he has ever met. ‘I really like pink,’ he says to her.
‘And,’ Lucy says to him, ‘I suppose you want to hitch a ride with me back through the Black Hole.’
‘Well, it does seem fortuitous that I landed where I landed,’ he replies.
‘Just good instinct,’ Lucy clarifies.
‘What route are you taking and which Black Hole are you going to go through?’ Eddy asks Lucy.
‘I’m going to head straight for the Big Dipper and follow the two stars of the pot straight to Polaris. Then, after a little rest and recreation watching the Aurora Borealis, I am going to take a right and head straight to Cassiopeia.’
Cassiopeia is really nice this time of century,’ Eddy adds.
‘I know. That’s why I wanted to take this route. Good opportunity to see some things I have missed on other trips. After Cassiopeia, I will head straight to Andromeda and then through Andromeda’s Black Hole.’
And before long, HOG shouts, ‘Soup’s ready.’
*****
Lucy tells me that one of the most important lessons she has learned in the three thousand years she has been visiting Earth is the meaning of love and friendship. Her friendship and love for me and all of my friends is difficult for her to understand. She is not sure how she will explain it to Those In The Know. But, then again, maybe they already know. Maybe it was something she had to learn for herself. Nevertheless she tells me that she has become deeply emotionally attached to Earth. Earth is now much more than an assignment or a ‘thing’ to be studied. It is now a part of her.
Naturally, Lucy misses her own home and family on the other side of the Black Hole of Andromeda. She really wants to go where she is going. She wants to go home. But she does not want to leave where she is. She does not want to leave her new friends. This is a dilemma which greatly saddens her until I remind her of Gödel’s concept of Circular Time. Going around in circles means always coming back to where you are. Going around in circles can go on forever. Or not. The possibilities are endless. Lucy smiles as she remembers Mary-Ann-Drusillda’s words, ‘The numbers are never wrong.’
‘Such a contrived and primative concept,’ she thinks, ‘yet, so very very useful in understanding existence.’
She tells me that when she thinks of Lordy, her Number One, she realizes that, indeed, the numbers are never wrong. She can survive surviving because she is who she is, and who she is, is indeed composed and defined by all she loves. All hearts are connected.
Lucy is short for Lucent, which means light, as in enlightenment. Lucy is a firefly, a lightening bug from the other side of a Black Hole, a place somewhere beyond here, sometime other than now, something else than existence, somehow different from us, somewhat incapable of being satisfactorily described using the inadequate tools of human language. Of course, me and all her critter friends are not quite human, so we have no problem understanding who and what Lucy is. We just know, without thinking about it at all. We intuitively intuit. We also know, intuitively, that all things and everyone we love become a part of us. They are in our hearts and we can never be separated, not even by death. The ceasing of existence as humans know it.
As I am sitting in the mud bog with Lucy comfortably relaxing on my nose, Lucy says to me, ‘RosFrankie, you live in an amazing world. I’m so glad I could see it through your eyes before I go back home.’
I know, logically, that when Lucy becomes excited, she breathes very fast. So fast does she breathe that she actually pulsates, and when she pulsates very fast, she will become invisible to other critters eyes. But, still, I know that Lucy is there, even when I can’t see her. I intuitively feel her presence. However, this does not prevent me from feeling sad at the thought of Lucy going back through the Black Hole to her home on the other side. She won't just be invisible, she will be gone.
‘Will you be back?’ I quietly ask Lucy, a little afraid of the answer.
Lucy, having lived and studied and learned about life for over three thousand years, intuitively understands my question. She understands the need for truth and she understands the need for myth. She smiles gently at me and answers without deceit, ‘I won’t be back. But we will meet again. Someday you will also go through the Black Hole. Everyone and all things eventually do go through the Black Hole. But there are no words capable of explaining or describing it to you. It is NOT something which your mind can comprehend. It is beyond. It is just simply something else. It is not an answer to any question. It is not a solution to any problem. Nor is it a problem nor is it a question. But it is not unknown. It simply ‘is’ but it is not the same as existence ‘is.’ Yet it is not non-existence. It is simply the other side of the Black Hole from this side of the Black Hole. When you get there, you will understand. It is not ‘now.’ It is another time.’
And now it is time for Lucy to go.
And now she is gone.
In a nano-second. Just like that! In a flash!
I look deeper into the night sky. Deeper and further and unfathomably up into the void beyond the non-void. My attention is suddenly drawn to the star Cih which is blinking in the crown of the star constellation Cassiopeia. I blink at the blinking star and realize intuitively and immediately that Lucy is saying ‘Hi’ to me.
I feel, somehow, for some unknown reason, better, happier, more content. There may be many things which I do not know or understand yet, but I have decided something instantly. I say to my mother, in a phrase which sounds like a question but is actually an answer, ‘What is a Black Hole anyway, except just another creature’s mud bog. Lucy is an amazing creature. She can be in my heart and, at the same time, be far away somewhere else beyond the sky. What amazing talent she has!’
I lay back comfortably in my mud bog, and, without fear or hesitation, let my mind wonder wherever it wants to go, and I pleasantly enjoy just thinking about ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ and all the beauty in this amazing world I live in.
All ends are the beginnings of something else.
*****
The Ever After Ending
It is a beautiful snowy day. It is a perfect day for me to be enjoying the geothermal warmth of the mud bog while catching snowflakes on my tongue. Not being a Mary-Ann-Drusillda, I stop counting snowflakes after catching 34 and just watch the flakes as they softly glide down to land on my warm nose. Snowflakes are amazing things. They are water crystals and they come in ever so many various sizes and shapes. I pick them out as I watch them fall. One is a white hexagonal star. Another is a white prism. And here is a white fern. Oh, a perfect white radiating dendrite. A triangular white shape. And a round yellow ball. I am startled. A what? A round yellow ball? Snowflakes are not round yellow balls! The tiny round yellow ball lands on my nose and looks me in the eyes.
‘Hi. I’m not Lucy. She sent me as her replacement. I’m here for three thousand years. Unless I need extra time to complete my assignments. Sometimes I do. Then I’ll be here for four thousand years.’
The little yellow firefly gave me a friendly little smile, ‘My name is Neophyte. Someday, when I learn enough, I will be called Neon. As in light. Enlightenment. You can call me Neo for short. But I guess I didn’t pick the best time to land. It’s a bit cold here for me. Do you mind if I snuggle up inside your fur to get warm?’
‘Not at all. Will you be needing a pen and note book to record data?’
‘No, I learn by Visual Osmosis. Much more efficient than the previous models of learning. Unless I forget. Sometimes I forget.’
‘I’ll help you remember,’ I say, adding, ‘You feel nice and warm.’
*****
And Never-Ending stories never end. I sit comfortably in my mud bog thinking……about thinking…..and what I will do tomorrow? That is always a question which should be asked….
What do you think you will do tomorrow?
Amazing!
Words:
Diametrically
Intergalactic
Digitized
Fortuitous
Aurora Borealis
Enlightenment
Intuitively
Unfathomably
Void
Hexagonal
Prism
Dendrite
Neophyte
Osmosis
Questions:
What are you going to do tomorrow?
BTW:
Farley Mowat: a humorist and naturalist Farley McGill Mowat, (born May 12, 1921 in Belleville, Ontario) is a conservationist and one of Canada's most widely-read authors. Many of his most popular works have been memoirs of his childhood, his war service, and his work as a naturalist He achieved fame with the publication of his books on the Canadian North, such as People of the Deer (1952) and Never Cry Wolf, (1963). The latter, an account of his experiences with wolves in the Arctic, was made into a film, released in 1983. Mowat's advocacy for environmental causes, and a writing style that "never let[s] the facts get in the way of the truth," have earned him both praise and criticism: "few readers remain neutral." Nevertheless, his influence is undeniable: Never Cry Wolf is credited with shifting the mythology and fear of wolves. Mowat is considered a "natural storyteller." His stories are fast-paced, gripping, personal, and conversational. The Boat Who Wouldn’t Float was our first FW book.
EdVac: EDVAC (Electronic Discrete Variable Automatic Computer) was one of the earliest electronic computers. Unlike its predecessor the ENIAC, it was binary rather than decimal, and was a stored program machine. EDVAC was delivered to the Ballistics Research Laboratory in August 1949. After a number of problems had been discovered and solved, the computer began operation in 1951 although only on a limited basis. Its completion was delayed because of a dispute over patent rights between its inventors John Eckert and Presper Mauchly and the University of Pennsylvania, resulting in Eckert and Mauchly's resignation and departure to form the Eckert-Mauchly Computer Corporation and taking most of the senior engineers with them. By 1960 EDVAC was running over 20 hours a day with error-free run time averaging eight hours. EDVAC received a number of upgrades including punch-card I/O in 1953, extra memory in slower magnetic drum form in 1954, and a floating point arithmetic unit in 1958. EDVAC ran until 1961 when it was replaced by BRLESC. During its operational life it proved to be reliable and productive for its time.
Hubble and Hubble telescope: Edwin Powell Hubble (November 20, 1889 – September 28, 1953) was an American astronomer. He profoundly changed astronomers' understanding of the nature of the universe by demonstrating the existence of other galaxies besides the Milky Way. He also discovered that the degree of red shift observed in light coming from a galaxy increased in proportion to the distance of that galaxy from the Milky Way. This became known as Hubble's law, and would help establish that the universe is expanding. The Hubble Space Telescope (HST), named after Edwin Hubble, is a space telescope that was carried into orbit by the Space Shuttle Discovery in April 1990. The Hubble is one of the largest and most versatile space telescopes, and is well-known as both a vital research tool and a public relations boon for astronomy. Great photographs!
Snowflakes: Snowflakes are a particular form of water ice. Snowflakes form in clouds, which consist of water vapor. When the temperature is 32° F (0° C) or colder, water changes from its liquid form into ice. Several factors affect snowflake formation. Temperature, air currents, and humidity all influence shape and size. Dirt and dust particles can get mixed up in the water and affect crystal weight and durability. The dirt particles make the snowflake heavier, and can cause cracks and breaks in the crystal and make it easier to melt. Snowflake formation is a dynamic process. A snowflake may encounter many different environmental conditions, sometimes melting it, sometimes causing growth, always changing its structure.
Visual osmosis: Diffusion of fluid through a semipermeable membrane from a solution with a low solute concentration to a solution with a higher solute concentration until there is an equal concentration of fluid on both sides of the membrane. Huh? A gradual, often unconscious process of assimilation or absorption. Learning by observing. Ask the Wizard. Do you want the truth or a really interesting story?
Hodoscope: A hodoscope (from the Greek for "path viewer") is a scientific instrument which detects charged elementary particles, in particular, ionizing cosmic particles. Scintillator paddles emit light when particles strike them. This light is amplified, then detected by circuitry which counts the total number of flashes over some period of time. E.G.: I have no idea. [ E.G. from the Latin exempli gratia – for example.] Ask the Wizard. EG also Evil Grandmother. Ha, ha, ha.
Holoenzyme: a complete active enzyme consisting of an apoenzyme combined with its coenzyme. E.G.: I have no idea. The Wizard might be able to tell you who to ask.
Homogenous: Blended together to become one.
Hooch: Alcoholic liquor. Medicine of choice for elderly people who have learned not to trust the major drug companies and who think that most doctors are too young to be doctors anyway.
Mendel and genetics: Gregor Johann Mendel (July 20, 1822 – January 6, 1884) was a German speaking Austrian Augustinian monk and scientist, and is often called the father of genetics for his study of the inheritance of traits in pea plants. Mendel showed that the inheritance of traits follows particular laws, which were later named after him. The significance of Mendel's work was not recognized until the turn of the 20th century. Its rediscovery prompted the foundation of the discipline of genetics. Genetics (from Ancient Greek genetikos, “genitive” and that from genesis, “origin”, a discipline of biology, is the science of heredity and variation in living organisms. The fact that living things inherit traits from their parents has been used since prehistoric times to improve crop plants and animals through selective breeding. However, the modern science of genetics, which seeks to understand the process of inheritance, only began with the work of Mendel in the mid-nineteenth century. Although he did not know the physical basis for heredity, Mendel observed that organisms inherit traits in a discrete manner—these basic units of inheritance are now called genes. DNA, the molecular basis for inheritance. DNA is also here somewhere….try as you might, it can’t be lost.
Check out:
Animal Tracking:
http://www.princeton.edu/~oa/nature/trackcard.shtml
http://www.naturetracking.com/
http://www.dnr.state.wi.us/org/caer/ce/eek/nature/track.htm
Edvac, programming
http://lecture.eingang.org/edvac.html
http://www.thocp.net/hardware/edvac.htm
Death, grief, separation
http://www.psychology.org/links/Environment_Behavior_Relationships/Death_and_Dying/
Archer, John - The Nature of Grief: The Evolution and Psychology of Reactions to Loss, Psychology Press, 1999.
Farley Mowat
Mowat, Farley – Never Cry Wolf, Hachette Books, 1963.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB3IQMZm7CQ
http://www.salon.com/people/bc/1999/05/11/mowat/
http://www.ecobooks.com/authors/mowat.htm
http://www.seashepherd.org/who-we-are/
Mendel, genetics
http://anthro.palomar.edu/mendel/mendel_1.htm
http://www.biology.arizona.edu/mendelian_genetics/mendelian_genetics.html
http://www.fieldmuseum.org/mendel/
Henig, R.M. – The Monk in the garden, Mariner, 2000.
Snowflakes
http://www.its.caltech.edu/~atomic/snowcrystals/
http://snowflakebentley.com/
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-3D-Paper-Snowflake
http://chemistry.about.com/od/moleculescompounds/a/snowflake.htm
Space exploration, Hubble telescope, Dr. Hubble
http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS315US316&q=hubble+telescope&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=8ny2Sc_cE6DOMuXqiOUK&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&resnum=1&ct=title
http://hubble.nasa.gov/
http://www.stsci.edu/resources/
http://books.google.com/books?q=hubble+telescope&source=bll&ei=8ny2Sc_cE6DOMuXqiOUK&sa=X&oi=book_group&resnum=18&ct=title&cad=bottom-3results
http://hubblesite.org/the_telescope/hubble_essentials/edwin_hubble.php
Star constellations
http://www.astro.wisc.edu/~dolan/constellations/
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/stars/attractions/index.html
http://www.astro.uiuc.edu/~jkaler/sow/sowlist.html
http://csep10.phys.utk.edu/astr161/lect/time/constellations.html
http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=438
http://spaceplace.nasa.gov/en/kids/st6starfinder/st6starfinder.shtml
Water properties
http://www.uni.edu/~iowawet/H2OProperties.html
http://www.grc.nasa.gov/WWW/K-12/airplane/state.html
http://core.ecu.edu/geology/woods/H2OUNEEK.htm
http://www.chemistry.nmsu.edu/studntres/chem115/notes/ch11.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_(molecule)
http://www.eoearth.org/article/Physical_properties_of_water
If you have a mind
To think with
You can not ever
Be bored
Well kids, this is the end of my part of the story. Now it’s your turn. What adventures will you go on with RosFrankie and Neophyte? What questions will you ask? What answers will you learn? What treasures will you find?
I can think of a million things!!! Now go and start your New Year…
Next Chapter: ???
Having trouble thinking up a character? Let me help: first, let's give your character a name. After that, let's decide on the color of your character's eyes. [Does your character have eyes?] Got it? Then the shape of the eyes -round, square, crescent up or down...big eyes or small? How many eyes? A nose? A mouth? Ears? How many legs, if any? At about this point, your character is fully formed in your mind. You might not be able to see your character fully yet, but don't worry. Your character is there and you might have to concentrate and look very close to see your character, but your character is there nevertheless. Time to draw a picture. In the picture, what is beside your character? What is beside your character will tell you what the story is all about. What adventures will you go on? What questions will you ask? Where will you look for answers? Time for you to write your own story now. I hope you decide to share it on the web when you are finished writing it so that other people around the world can enjoy reading it. Bye-Bye......for now.
EXTRAS
Magic Ink Formula
So simple a child can do it
Almost impossible to screw it
A brush, a stick, or even a finger that is all
A blank piece of paper, big or small
Lemon juice only is the reason why
Then it just needs time to dry
To become invisible
Don’t be miserable
The message is not lost
Not at science’s cost
A hot iron not to burn
Just hot enough to learn
The written word
Not a puzzle and not a clue
This silly verse is for you
HOG’s Squirrel Nut Bread
- Go outside with shovel and turn around 360° until dizzy, then dig hole.
- After digging up one cup of nuts, replace them with raisins so that the squirrels won’t go hungry or get mad at you and start jumping on the top of your haystack or hissing at you when you go out for a walk or a roll.
- Chop nuts up small.
- Mix together:
- 2 cups flour
- ½ cup brown sugar
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- 1 teaspoon salt
- Add and Beat in:
- 1 egg from free ranging organic fed chicken
- 1 cup milk from contented cow
- 2 tablespoons melted butter, medically disapproved
- Chopped nuts
- Spoon into a buttered 9 by 5 pan
- Bake at 350° for forty-five minutes.
- Eat warm and buttered and with friends only, never alone. Save some to give to the backyard songbirds in repayment for their lovely music and free concerts.
HOG’s Recipe Book of
The Homemaker’s Hoard of Hodoscoped Holiday Holoenzymes And Homogeneous Hooch
Written by HOG
The New York Times calls it ‘Hog-wild’…..but they’re from New York, they’re city people, so what do they know about life in the real world!
Sample of Contents:
- Toe Nail Clipping Cookies…a good source of fiber for tricky tummies.
- Slime Soup served in a Prickly Cactus Bowl….sure to have your guests say Wow!
- Moss Muffins with Extra Grey River Gravel for that crunchy tooth crushing sound we all love to hear.
- Paper Pulp Pie giving new depth of meaning to the recycle concept.
- Grass Mold Bacteria Tea, especially appealing to those who actually like to be sick.
- Toasted Tree Bark Rolls with Pine Cone Paste….a surprisingly good taste.
- Rancid Raindrop Ratatouille…a complete meal in itself, albeit a bit acidy, easily corrected by adding a sprinkling of Blue Mold Cheese.
- Copper Pipe Cake with Fiberglass Sprinkles…a mouth-twitching treat.
- Red Salted Ironmongers Leftovers Special…HOG’s latest special creation.
- Other Infamous Recipes often included in the List of Lost Data From Long Ago.
- Future Book Herbs in collaboration with Granny Weatherwax who NEVER uses Spell-Check.
To order your copy, and extra copies for family, friends and enemies, please send a check for 6 Billion American Dollars to:
HOG
Daisy’s Field
Around-The-Corner
Anywhere Everywhere, USA
*Please note that this does not mean that you will ever actually receive a copy, but it’s always good to try.
HOG’S World Renown, Famous Even Blackened or Fried Diary Soup
1 Cup Natural Organic Ink
3 Cups Natural Organic Paper
1 Hefty Dose of Over Active Imagination
A Sprinkling of Humor
A Balanced Blend of Truth and Fantasy
20 lbs of Hope
20 lbs of History
Equal Amounts of Past, Present and Future
Blend in Acidic Questions
Season to Taste With Sweet Understanding
Add Onion, Carrots and Celery
Dash of Salt
Fresh Ground Pepper
Versatility Allows this Scrumptious Dish to be Either Stirred as a Liquid, Baked as a Solid, or Fried as a Gas.
As a Novel Seasonal Interpretation, Try BBQ ing with Dry Ash Wood
Translation of Lucy’s name into common usage English:
BLACKALMOSTAFIVEBLUESWIRLLYTHINGWITHPARTSQUAREGREENCRESCENTMOONWITHBABYMOONRED TRIANGLEORANGESQUAREANDBLUEKELTICJUMBLE
credit: http://www.wwnorton.com/
Voyage of the Beagle
Bobbie and Bobby Mendel
Bobbie and Bobby Mendel are very good friends of Mary-Ann-Drusillda because they can multiply so fast. They can multiply faster than any other critter that Mary-Ann-Drusillda knows. Below is a chart of some of the many different ways by which they may multiply. All the rabbits are different except for one set of twins and one set of triplets. Can you find the twins and triplets? If you can, or even if you can’t, you might want to learn about Gregor Mendel, the scientist who originally developed the basic theory of heredity about one hundred and fifty years ago. [hint: check the corners and the center.]
unless otherwise noted.
Observe much - Think long - Say little...
[Credited to Oxford professor of C. Darwin]
Except, of course, in an emergency. Then you should
Look quick - Think fast - Yell loud!
[Credited to The Evil Grandmother]
Remember to always check your references!
Always question, but question with due respect.
The mud bog is empty now. But it won't be empty long. That is the way of mud bogs.![]()
Human beings are complex. Humanity exponentially so.
I have planted a seed
deep within the darkness
of the caves of cyberspace.
But it is a seed
Nevertheless.
-Jule Dupre-
